Let’s face it. Dates fail for many reasons.

It can be because of circumstances or a simple lack of chemistry, but let’s check in with some of the more common reasons I have come across in the 1000’s of conversations I’ve had with single women.

1) You were late

Being late can set a tone for the date that we just can’t shake. As women, we try to get past it but somewhere in our brain, we are thinking “unreliable, unreliable, unreliable”. My advice to you is, at least 30 minutes before you are to meet up, check in with yourself to see if you can honestly make it on time. Put an alarm in your phone to remind yourself. If there is absolutely no way because of unexpected traffic, or work commitments, pick up the phone and say something like, “Hi (date), I’m calling to let you know that I am going to be late and I apologize. I will see you at 7:30 instead of 7:00. I’m sorry about this and I’m looking forward to seeing you.” You don’t need to go into the reasons why you are making a “late call”. Just get to the point and be apologetic. She will appreciate the advanced warning and you’ll likely catch her before she’s left her house. The key is NOT to call her at 7:00 saying you will be there at 7:30.

2) You answered your phone too often

I could go on about phone etiquette but the point I want to make is that dates are all about the opportunity to be with a woman face-to-face. She deserves to be your centre of attention and she wants to be. Clear up your outside commitments before the date. If you absolutely, positively have to answer a call from the office at some point, then let her know in advance that a call may come in. When it does, keep it short, then turn your phone off and immediately pick up the conversation where you left off rather than going into detail about what the call was about.

3) You went on about the things you are bad at

We’re really only interested in hearing about things you are not good at. If you are poking fun at yourself, make sure it’s light and positive. Here’s an example of what not to say: “You’re a really good dancer, I don’t know why you’d want to hang out with me.” Here’s an example of what to say: “Wow, I’m a lucky guy to hang out with such a good dancer”. Subtle change but an entirely different affect on us.

4) You turned the date into a free therapy session

You got so comfortable with us that you started to open up. Before you knew it, you were giving us details on your ex-girlfriends and some of the problems you struggled with. We’re not interested in helping you work out your past relationship problems while we’re on a date with you. You may get mixed signals from us on this but it’s best you just steer completely away from talking about past relationships.

5) You’re on the date talking about how much you don’t like dating

I see this a lot in the online dating community. Some of the first questions you ask when you meet offline is to talk about all the horrible online dates you’ve been on. Let me say this, commiserating is NOT to be confused with connecting. Spending an entire date talking about how hard dating can be is totally counterproductive. Connect on positive aspects of your lives, not negative.

Let me know what you think. Leave your comments below.

Christine